9 signs that your child is experiencing cyber bullying

We caught up with Chuck Chesler, Founder of KwickLook and asked him to share with us signs that help you to know if your child might be a victim of cyber bullying.

You know exactly what they’re up to. That look of shame on their face confirms it — they’re looking at something inappropriate. You get them to give you their phone, but what you find is a horribly embarrassing picture of them on Instagram. It has a lot of likes and a LOT of mean comments from kids in your child’s class (you didn’t know kids that age knew those words yet). You find out your child has a nickname, too, and it’s not a nice one. The other kids seem to know it well.

Cyber bullying warning signs

Cyber bullying doesn’t come with the same bruises, tears, and teacher notes that schoolyard bullying does. It’s a much more insidious and hard-to-spot. In fact, many of the signs of cyber bullying seem benign, attributable to something else, or even positive. For example, if your child has a lot of new Facebook friends this week, your first instinct might be, “Somebody’s popular!” — when actually those new “friends” are kids who want the opportunity to spread abuse on your child’s wall.

If your child suddenly starts spending more or less time on their phone or computer, it’s worth a conversation

Here are signs that your child might be experiencing cyber bullying:

9. Sudden variations in device use

If your child suddenly starts spending more or less time on their phone or computer, it’s worth a conversation. A child’s interest naturally waxes and wanes, through, which underscores our main point: you have to pay attention to your child to know the context for these signs.

8. Deleting accounts

When social media turns sour, many teens opt to delete their account. Consider this a serious sign — they’ve admitted they don’t have the resources to fight back against the bullies and just want to escape it. The abuse is bad enough for them to give up all their connections.

7. Asking how to block others

When was the last time your child or teen came to you for help? Needless to say, if they’re asking for Mom or Dad’s assistance with something social-media related, it means they’ve exhausted their friends — and Google — as options. Find out why your child is asking.

6.Strong shifts after social media

Seeing your child visibly changed after they go on social media is a good indication they’re drawing a lot of emotions from their online activities. Pay attention to how they seem when they close their laptop or put their phone away. That will tell you a lot about what their experience is like.

5. Decreased self-esteem

Comments like “life feels meaningless,” “I feel depressed,” and “people suck” are strong indicators that your child is having difficulty with their peers online. “Tell me what’s up” is a good response to any of those annunciations. Sometimes that dip in self-worth will be evident in their posture, tone, or something else less obvious. Always be watching.

4. Change in physical habits

Less eating, less sleeping, more reason for you to be concerned that your child is being cyber bullied. If they’re nervous or jumpy when using their phones or computers: more to the point.

Your child’s social media experience is a multitude of relationships and emotions

3. Avoidance

One-word answers are the biggest red flag of all. Your child’s social media experience is a multitude of relationships and emotions. If they sum up their social media day as “good” or “fine,” press further. At best, you’ll get more details on what’s fine or good in your child’s life. At worst, they’ll reveal that life online is not good and fine — and from there, you can step in.

Normally, you’re the one to send your child to their room. If their social media use makes them shut-off and mum, that’s your permission to invade their privacy. They’re implicitly asking you to get involved.

2. Many new contacts

Like we mentioned earlier, a lot of new friends doesn’t mean “a lot of new friends.” It’s worth mentioning the sudden surge of connections to your child and seeing what’s behind it. If they’re “not sure,” that’s a cue to probe deeper.

-safesmartsocial.com